Analysis: Are you a forgiver or a retributor?

By Yanta Daniel Elisha

May 11, 2020 (SSNN) – In the spirit of justice, love, peace, understanding, consideration, healing and reconciliation with individual, individuals, a group or groups in human societies, forgiveness and retribution have to prevail. After all, all humans have defects or weaknesses and therefore; circumstantially humans become offenders or offended and hence need to seek forgiveness and or retribution to feel justice has done. In Kuku community; there is a saying that “Better is the person with physical defects than that with behavioral defects”, such as a slanderer or a careless talker. The two abstract nouns in question, therefore; occupy a very large space in human life all over the world. Forgiveness and retribution are universal themes per se.

Forgiveness is the act of forgiving somebody or it is the willingness to forgive somebody who has wronged one knowingly or unknowingly according to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary. Forgiveness is an abstract noun formed from the verb, ‘forgive’, which means to stop feeling angry with somebody who has done something to harm, annoy or upset one. Forgiveness is therefore; the release of resentment or fury directed toward an offender. In another context, it means to stop feeling angry with oneself. To forgive also means to decline to be paid back money that somebody or some people have borrowed from one. Forgiveness is a common vocabulary in the New Testament of the Bible. Jesus has been portrayed as the protagonist of forgiveness as depicted by Christian Philosophy. For example, Jesus’ remark to The Adulterous Woman,

“…I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” (John 8: 11).

Meanwhile, retribution refers to severe punishment for something seriously wrong that somebody has done. Retribution is a common vocabulary in the Old Testament of the Bible, stressing “An eye for an eye”, “A tooth for a tooth” as professed in the Mosaic Laws. Moses has been portrayed the protagonist of retribution in the context of the Jewish Philosophy whose most treasured value is righteousness.

Considering forgiveness and retribution in real life situation, I think that the duo is applied contextually. Some circumstances really call for forgiveness whereas some seem to call for retribution to deter future occurrence. Such depends on personal decision made at personal discretion.

In practical life, forgiveness and retribution are both voluntary depending on the offender and the offended. However, the Christian Philosophy featured in the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-15) stresses that forgiveness is compulsory as a reciprocal gesture.

Verse 14 of Matthew 6 stipulates “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”. This verse necessitates forgiveness as basic, not optional if one as it is expected wants God to forgive one’s sins. Again, if one wants others to forgive one, one must forgive others. What a condition!

Verses 12 of Matthew, Chapter 6 spells forgiveness as an unavoidable phenomenon of life,

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors”. Such suggests that to be treated fairly, one should have treated somebody else fairly. Paradoxically, there is some degree of retribution in forgiveness according to this verse. The Golden Rule of “Do to others what you expect others to do to you” is reflected here. It is some degree of retribution in forgiveness. Forgiveness hence is hardly earned not just freely.

The big questions of the day are Why forgiveness? Why retribution?

To be logical, let me begin to answer the question of why forgiveness?

The opening paragraph has highlighted the reasons for forgiveness and retribution, however; most people often understand detailed information more than briefs.

Forgiveness is necessary for accomplishment of justice, love, peace, understanding, consideration, healing and reconciliation in society.

Justice is achievable through forgiveness because none is perfect except God. So, it is being just to forgive one another to showcase justice. This is a matter of fairness in practice.

Love is exhibited through forgiveness as indicated in the Holy Bible, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things”. (1 Corinthians 13:7).

However; such scripture has a limited practice in a real life situation as love remains undisputable cause for forgiveness. It is forgiving that seems to make love blind as the saying professes it. This brings in the question of how many times must one forgive?

Peace is a result of forgiveness and tolerance. So, to live in peace, forgiving and tolerating some odds of life must be the order of the world. But, can there be peace where there is injustice, inequality and ill treatment without forgiveness? The answer is no. There is need to compromise for the sake of peace. Compromise is consensus made through forgiveness, hence forgiveness is a necessity.

The question may be does this abstract noun, peace really exist and if yes, how and to what extent? John, the Gospel writer quotes Jesus as,“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27).

I think Jesus is referring to peace attained through justice by forgiveness not retribution. That should be why there is always amnesty or acquittal from the courts of law for the sake of peace especially for rebels or political dissidents. Sometimes amnesty or acquittal is pronounced where there is insufficient evidence for convicting the accused.

Understanding is a special gift of the Holy Spirit that we must have to make the world a better place to live in. Forgiveness ensues from thorough understanding of life realities within and beyond. Understanding that all humans are sinful by nature is crucial. Understanding that all humans cannot survive without forgiveness is essential; understanding makes us to forgive one another to save humanity unconditionally. Positive attitude is central in accomplishment of understanding for forgiveness.

Consideration based on humanity and divinity drive us to forgiveness to equally get pardon from fellow humankind and the supernatural being. Thus considering human justice and divine justice, we just bow down to accept forgiving and being forgiven. In this regard, we should consider that problems may occur for purposes of checking our faith and love, correction, change, forecasting future events, discovery of new things, revelation of hidden facts, redirection, repositioning, reorganization, reflection of past events, reminding of what is coming, repentance, reasoning check and strengthening of human and divine relationship. Nevertheless, we should consider the fact that problems may occur for a sole satanic purpose of destruction. With consideration of such philosophical views, forgiveness is perfectly rational.

Healing is some sort of recovery from physical and or psychological painful torture inflicting harm to a party or parties. For one to recover from such horrible experience, one has to forgive to get healed from the pain. Forgiveness is viewed here as some sort of self-relief or recovery from some disturbing experience. For this matter, it is a necessity for a good health of a person. Forgiveness is recommended for restoring one’s mental health disturbed by stress, anxiety, depression or trauma.

Reconciliation emanates from forgiveness. It is in other words, the advanced stage of forgiveness where two parties that were previously torn apart by some sort of misunderstanding choose to come together to cooperate and live in harmony again. However, forgiveness on its own does not mean reconciliation. It is not mandatory to return to the same harmful relationship with the offender unless otherwise deemed necessary.

Why retribution?

Retribution in actual sense is an exhibition of human justice to cause deterrence, appeasement to the offended, correction, change, compensation and conditional learning.

Deterrence is an action of discouraging a wrong action such as theft, murder, defilement, rape or adultery through instilling doubt or fear of consequences. Scholars consider retribution as ideal in such circumstances. However, human rights advocates are critical of the argument of deterrence to realize justice especially on capital punishment of death sentence by firing squad or hanging. The argument is ‘does the dead change behaviour or the living are the targeted beneficial of the punishment?’

Appeasement to the offended or relatives of the offended party, scholars and law enforcement agents see retribution as a measure to appease the offended party over the damage or harm caused to it. Thus proponents of retribution argue that it is a right measure for the purpose of appeasement.

Correction purpose, proponents of retribution argue that it is the most appropriate means to correct wrong doers and wrong deeds, which to some great extent holds truth.

Change seems realistic and quick with retribution that is why most prisoners become reformed members of society. They become advisors on the right way of living in society. Proponents see this as a justification for retribution, arguing that forgiveness seems to cause reluctance for change since there is no enforcement.

Compensation for a damage caused is a rationale for retribution. Indeed some circumstances of economic losses or damages caused may not only need a word of forgiveness but some sort of compensation in kind or financially thus a justification for retribution.

Conditioning learning is the situation where people say we learn from mistakes. We are conditioned to learn through exertion of fear for another punishment after being punished for a previous wrong behaviour. In this regard, retribution is ideal for the purpose.

How do we forgive offenders?

The question of how to forgive an offender or oneself is another daunting task to answer. Writing an essay on forgiveness and retribution without alluding to such a question makes it incomplete.

Forgiving somebody becomes almost impossible if the offending party does not acknowledge the offence committed. However, for one’s health and safety, it is a better option. Psychologist Robert Enright identifies four steps of forgiving: Uncovering one’s anger by exploring ways of avoiding or addressing the emotion.

Making the decision to forgive by acknowledging that ignoring or coping with the offence is a hindrance and therefore; forgiveness is the way forward

Cultivating forgiveness by developing compassion for the offender by considering whether the act entails malicious intent or challenging circumstance in the offender’s life Releasing the harmful emotions and reflecting on growth from experience to the act of forgiveness itself. Such steps of forgiveness are tough and thoughtful to realize although they are easy to state in writing or speaking.

The biggest question is how do we forgive ourselves?

Forgiving somebody who has offended you is one thing and may be easy to do. What if one is the offender? Can one easily forgive oneself?

Taking responsibility for mistakes committed is inevitable under such circumstance, but guilt and shame always frustrate the effort. Guilt and shame must be banished because they are not the desirable outcome in the long run.

Forgiving oneself, though ambiguous has to take place through the following steps:

Acknowledging that one is at fault and responsible for the hurt caused

Reflecting on how the offending event happened; reflecting on which forces were in control of oneself and how those forces overpowered one’s self-control

Extracting lessons learnt from the episode

Identifying ways of avoiding to commit the same offence in future Forgiving oneself by focusing on the thought by saying or writing it down

Apologizing to the offended or some individuals involved in the act knowingly or unknowingly Taking action to improve one’s life in a meaningful way

Anger management tips:

One of the most destructive evils in humanity and even divinity is anger. Anger is the state of bitterness emanating from hurt or offence against a party or an individual by another party or an individual. We can effectively manage anger through heeding to the following guidelines:

Do not be quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. (Reference: Ecclesiastes 7:9)

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.

Respect what is right in the sight of all men.

If possible, so far it depends on you, be at peace with all people.

Never take your own revenge; vengeance is God’s.

Feed your enemy and give your enemy a drink to quench his or her thirst.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (References: Romans 12: 17-21)

Do not sin while angry; do not let the sun go down on your anger.

Do not give the devil an opportunity by sustaining anger. (References: Ephesians 4:26-27)

Give a gentle answer to turn away wrath (anger) because a harsh word stirs up anger. (Reference: Proverbs 15:1)

A person’s wisdom makes him or her slow to anger and it is glorious to overlook a transgression. (Reference: Proverbs 19:11)

Episodes of forgiveness in written and oral literature:

To narrate incidents of forgiveness and retribution, I would like to begin with written literature.

Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness is very interesting. He tells Peter, his disciple that we have to forgive “seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:22).

The Parable of the ‘Unmerciful Servant’ has vividly illustrated the lesson on forgiveness.

“Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?” (Matthew 18:33) The master charges the unmerciful servant and in fury threw him into jail to face torture until he should pay back all that he owed.

In conclusion, Jesus says;

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart”. (Matthew 18:35)

Paul, the apostle writes a letter to the Ephesians recommending the need to forgive as quoted below;

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. (Ephesians 4:32)

The same apostle also writes a letter to the Colossians to forgive; “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”. (Colossians 3:13).

The Parable of the Lost Son demonstrates forgiveness as the father says to the prodigal son; “…For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (Luke 15: 24).

Thus the family began to celebrate the homecoming of the lost son. The parable highlights that when the father saw the son he was filled with compassion hence running, hugging and kissing him even before hearing any apology from the son. This sends a very powerful message of forgiveness emanating from love. (Luke 15:11-32).Though the elder loyal son became bitter and protested over the celebration of the estranged brother, the father convinced him to understand the need for forgiveness.

The most striking episode of forgiveness was during the crucifixion of Jesus Christ when he pronounced forgiveness for those crucifying and mocking him.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”. (Luke 23:34).

Who on earth can forgive his killers? Such a comment of Jesus suggests that people should be excused for sometimes for acting ignorantly. But the legal argument is “ignorance is not a defense in a court of law”. Instead, insanity is a defense in the court of law. Is ignorance a kind of insanity in Jesus’ perspective? That remains a case for argument in the contemporary time.

Episodes of forgiveness in oral literature

On sociological point of view in Africa, there is always ample space for forgiveness and retribution at the same time. Elders here encourage forgiveness for whatever sort of sin or crime committed against a member. Even for capital offences, Kuku elders could ask for forgiveness; arguing that revenge is God’s. Sometimes they are mistaken for casting curses when they say, “Ti Ngun lo medyi”, meaning “Let God see the situation”.

Sometimes they say “Akondya”, meaning “It does not do”.

The sociological perspective here seems that of forgiving ills against us or referring to God to redress the pains we are going through. So, it is ambiguous.

Sociologically, retribution seems in full gear in my community mainly for purposes of appeasement of the offended and disciplining the perpetrators. Insulting in-laws for example in my society calls for a payment of a she-goat as compensation for the pain inflicted. There is no compromise about it.

Episodes of retribution in written literature

Skimming and scanning through the Holy Bible from Genesis to Revelation, I see God as a retributor and a forgiver at the same time. I always find the Bible as the parameter for writing this academic essay on forgiveness and retribution.

The other parameter is the Quran which seems more of retribution than forgiveness as quoted from Surah 3:32,

“Obey Allah and His Messenger; but if you turn back, Allah loves not those who reject faith”.

Indeed, the Old Testament of the Bible, which shares a lot with Quran, displays the practice of retribution. God did not spare Adam, Eve and the Serpent for their disobedience. He pronounced respective punishments for the characters.

To Adam, God made this judgment; “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, you must not eat of it. Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.

It will produce thorns and thistles for you, And you will eat the plants of the field.

By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return”. (Genesis 3: 17-19).

To Eve, God made this judgment; “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you”.

(Genesis 3:16).

To the Serpent, God made this judgment; “Because you have done this,

Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals!

You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.

And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel”. Genesis 3: 14-15).

Seriously God sounded more of a retributor than a forgiver in the early days. This is a striking episode of retribution.

God did not even spare Cain for killing his brother, Abel. God made this pronouncement of retribution;

“Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand.

When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you.

You will be a restless wanderer on the earth”. (Genesis 4:11-12)

Such is a typical episode of retribution. God does not spare any disobedience against the law. Any disobedience is punishable. What a retributive justice instead of restorative justice! Anyway, circumstances determine the course of action. There is a saying that “abnormal situations deserve abnormal measures”. That seems the situation, God acted on.

The flood was retribution, God made against humankind at Noah’s time. Noah being righteous and the family were spared. With the majority on the earth being corrupt, God ruled;

“I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.” (Genesis 6:13)

Who knows today the global threat of corona virus is a punishment for corruption and violence in the world today?

It may be retribution much as some people cry out for God’s mercy while others simply put human efforts only to contain the pandemic.

Reader, remember, I remarked that Moses has been portrayed as the protagonist of retribution. Without citing the retributive laws God instructed Moses to execute, my argument would be disregarded as lacking substantial evidence; to defend my position, therefore; I have the punishments for sin pronounced in the book of Leviticus 20:1-27:

Any Israelite or any alien living in Israel who gives any of his children to Molech must be put to death. The people of the community are to stone him.

I will set my face against that man and I will cut him off from his people; for by giving his children to Molech, he has defiled my sanctuary and profaned my holy name.

If the people of the community close their eyes when that man gives one of his children to Molech and they fail to put him to death, I will set my face against that man and his family and will cut off from their people both him and all who follow him in prostituting themselves to Molech.

I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people.

Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the LORD your God.

Keep my decrees and follow them. I am the LORD, who makes you holy.

If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.

If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife-with the wife of his neighbor-both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

If a man sleeps with his father’s wife, he has dishonoured his father. Both the man and the woman must be put to death; their blood will be on their heads.

If a man sleeps with his daughter –in-law, both of them must be put to death. What they have done is a perversion; their blood will be on their own heads.

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

If a man marries both a woman and her mother, it is wicked. Both he and they must be burned in the fire, so that no wickedness will be among you.

If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he must be put to death, and you must kill the animal.

If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their heads.

If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They must be cut off before the eyes of their people. He has dishonoured his sister and will be held responsible.

If a man lies with a woman during her monthly period and has sexual relations with her, he has exposed the source of her flow, and she has also uncovered it. Both of them must be cut off from their people.

Do not have sexual relations with the sister of either your mother or your father, for that would dishonour a close relative; both of you would be held responsible.

If a man sleeps with his aunt, he has dishonoured his uncle. They will be held responsible; they will die childless.

If a man marries his brother’s wife, it is an act of impurity; he has dishonoured his brother. They will be childless.

What a pronouncement of retribution! So scaring and sending chilling sensation to the nerves!

Yet Jesus says he has not come to nullify the laws of Moses but to fulfill them. He also says divorce was granted at Moses’ time because of the hardness of people’s hearts. This means retribution is necessary for hardliners. After all, the wisest man the world has ever produced, King Solomon rules;

“The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother”. (Proverbs 29: 15). This mother may be a nation always disgraced by its pig-headed inhabitants.

Human rights bodies now advocate for the nullification of death sentence. For any capital offence, the rights’ advocates recommend life imprisonment as a form of retribution. So, the question of forgiveness and or retribution is dependent on the context of the law and those involved.

Does forgiveness encourage more sinning than reformation as some people argue? Does retribution really stamp out offences?

Episodes of retribution in oral literature

Although African cultures seem more retributive than forgiving, their retributive justice is more restorative than retributive. The punishments are milder than those of the Mosaic Laws. The punishments include compensatory charges and appeasement rituals. I think Africans as humans are more lenient to themselves than God.

In case of any incest in the Kuku community, relatives could decide that the man pays a ram and or ewe to the woman’s family as an appeasement for the damage caused. The sexual relationship would be broken by a ritual of tearing an intestine of a hen and then the couple would be instructed never to have sexual relations anymore or the couple would be allowed to marry, but cursed to be poor and hungry.

The question of whether you are a forgiver or a retributor remains in suspense.

One can be both a forgiver and a retributor depending on the prevailing situation.

The naked truth is forgiveness and retribution is unavoidable in life. It is healthy to forgive and be forgiven for the sake of upholding the Law of Relationship to succeed in life.

The author is an educator, journalist and counsel holding Bachelor of Education (BED with Honours) with majors in English Language and Literature in English, Uganda Christian University; Diploma in Education Secondary (DES)with majors in English Language and Literature in English, Kyambogo University; Diploma in Journalism, Alison online, UK and Diploma in Legal Studies, Alison online, UK. He can be reached via yantadaniel@rocketmail.com.

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